Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Resume Fudging

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain

Good advice, Mark Twain/Samuel L. Clemens, but were you ever unemployed? Because sometimes, when you're unemployed, if you want to get employed once again, honesty isn't always the best policy. What? Do you mean to purport that someone might not be 100% truthful on the resume they hand out to potential employers just for the chance of getting their foot in the door? Does that happen in today's society of heightened awareness? Oh yes, my friend. Like it or not, agree or disagree, lies do actually get you somewhere if they make you better than you actually are - on paper, at least.

Should you lie on a resume? Define "lie" ...

Well, let's just say, for resume purposes only (if you extend these statements beyond this one, isolated instance of which I am speaking at this exact moment, I am released from all liability as to the consequences) that there are... levels, of lying. I'll call them the "Fudge", the "White Lie" and the "Whopper". The "Fudge" being a very slight, but clearly related smearing of the *exact* truth to be something more acceptable to a potential employer. Kind of like calling a housefrau a "domestic engineer" with skills in food prep, janitorial, personnel management and conflict resolution. See? It's not an out and out LIE. As a mother, I can tell you that the job skills a woman who stays at home to raise a family truly has are as numerously unlistable (new word!) as they are unfancy sounding, but that's what the Fudge is for. Fudging isn't a lie, it's a glamorizing of the ugly truth.

You should have skills, personal and professional ones, that you can list on your resume - that specifically relate to the job you want. You should be customizing each resume to lean slightly more toward the details of the job ad you respond to rather than being generic because being generic makes you as indistinct from the crowd as a fly on poo. Generic is the kiss of death for the unemployed. Even if you actually are kind of a generic person, you don't need to look like it on paper.

Highlight what skills you do have that pertain to the job you want. This is all assuming you're applying for jobs that are reasonably within your intellectual, experiential and educational reach, which you should be doing. Even if you have just a GED or a high school diploma (which, at the very least you do really need to have - so go get one, there are plenty of free resources out there), you can shoot for a job that is on your level or, even better, slightly above your level of education and experience.

Plenty of employers are willing to take a chance on someone who is hard working, honest and friendly over the *perfect* experience - you just need to get in the door, land a face-to-face meeting and talk about what you can bring to the job that will help the boss-man grow the business and increase success.

So, fudging your resume is fine, but it MUST be very close to what reality actually is. For example, don't lie about your education. Saying you have a degree or are certified in an area when it's not true is not a fudge. Its a bald-faced lie. Kiss your opportunity good bye. However, if you've finished 3 1/2 years of college, but dropped out before you actually earned the degree, it's fine to write the name of the college you attended and the dates and your major, then, write "degree pending" in italics underneath. This lets them know you DID attend college, and they can ask about the details of why your degree is "pending". That is an example of a Fudge.

Same with skills. For example, if you can type, emphasize your WPM over the fact that you aren't great at MS Excel. If you have a working knowledge or even some light experience in using whatever office products or technology they desire, put that this way: Experience with using (name it) - rather than not mentioning it at all just because you're not the expert you're looking for.

Fudges could help get your foot in the door, but then, Lucy, you have some 'splainen to do... If you DO land a job interview, you'd better be ready to put your money where your mouth is - meaning that if your fudges are close enough to the actual truth, you should be able to easily and naturally, without sweaty palms and wild looking eyes, be able to explain where you were coming from when you wrote "mechanical skills" instead of "car fag" on your resume.

If you outright lie, then you get what you've got coming to you, a big fat nothin' - at best.

So, don't lie, but don't avoid things that you aren't perfect in or that you haven't fully completed in life just because a job ad insists on expert level employees (although, of course, some industries need expert level employees, like running a mammogram machine - I'm assuming that goes without saying).

Lie - no. Fudge - yes. Understand the difference, dust off that resume and customize it per job and go for it! Think outside the box and reach just slightly beyond what you're 100% qualified for. You'll never know unless you try!

"May the odds be ever in your favor!"


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